Part 1 - Why is there still such a denial of the feminine?

The omnipresence of the masculine in our world has led women to adapt to the rules of the masculine. The feminine struggles to take its full place in this world. Our cognitive biases do not easily disappear in a world built by and for men. The binary and antagonistic vision of the masculine and the feminine, still in force, is reductive. It allows the denial of the other, and of oneself.

It is possible for us, by integrating the masculine and the feminine, with respect, in each of us, in their right place, to reach in their perfect union a new level of consciousness and existence.

I am a woman, I proclaim it loud and clear.

I am passionate, convinced of parity, proud to be a woman, dazzled by the feminine, feminist in my viscera.

I have behind me all a personal work, which animated me my whole life, to push my limits, the limits which had been fixed to me to conquer my territories and to claim my differences and my rights.

I am a woman, by my body, by my soul, by the world. My place as a woman. The Feminine has a place to take fully, I am convinced of it.

Woman, in a world of men, I conquered my place by adopting their virile codes

In my line of work, we talked about conquering markets, attacking the competition, bosses, working our butts off, training our troops, getting our teeth into it, kicking ass.

As a woman, brought into the world in a world dominated by men, I conquered my place by adopting their virile codes at first.

In this social game designed by and for men, I adopted their codes to survive. Like a man, in a hurry, head-on, in a pack, since the world was defined as such.

I also had other skills at my disposal: hospitality, understanding, subtlety and finesse, creativity, among others.

At first, this incongruous mix of feminine and masculine, amplified and strong, served me quite well.

Later on, I finally calmed down this exacerbated masculinity that inhabited me.

And as far as the feminine is concerned, for a long time I only implemented these easy facets, thus losing its depth and part of its essence.

Fortunately, I found them again, further along my path,through strong moments: love, friendship, motherhood, accompaniment, the ordeal of losing one of my abilities.

Now in the happy and liberated company of my feminine, I continue my life, my exploration of existence and my path. It seems to me, with my feminine, to take my place as fully as possible.

I still have some needlework to do. Let me tell you about what I still have to get past.

I have denied myself more than three times.

A few days ago, my brain, confined, worn out by the pain of a recent fall, watching a video "The riddle", I couldn't find the answer! MY brain!

I'm posting this video on Facebook

The enigma: a boy gets out of his job interview in a huge American company and joins his father in the car. His phone rings, his father tells him to answer it: it's the CEO himself who calls and says "nice job, son, you've got the job". The boy looks at his father in the car with a smile. How is this possible? I can't find the answer that night. Nor do the 22 people interviewed in the video.

My Facebook friends, all of them convinced feminists, don't find it either. And they are as disturbed as I am.

The answer is that the CEO is his mother. Nice example of unconscious denial of the feminine.

Why? Automatic steering and cognitive biases

I have, like you, when I am not vigilant, insidious and deeply rooted cognitive biases, that is to say a systematic deviation of logical and rational thinking from reality.

As soon as my attention fails and the automatic pilot of the majority collective imagination starts again. A denial of the feminine, even if it's a small one, even if it's partial. I lose my footing. Then, just like me, my feminine also loses its place.

The denial of the feminine is, in fact, an often unconscious denial of reality, in the collective and individual unconscious.

It is supported, in the first place, by the tyranny of language, we speak of "the human, the man", language formats the thought with a massive absence of feminine references.

There are also massive, powerful egregores: culture, politics, countries, religions, social and economic, history, etc., where women are submissive, bad, stupid or witches, in any case, inferior or subaltern.

And this denial is reinforced by the representations emanating from the most immediate entourage. Representations that mostly value the male, but, in doing so, also condemn him to perpetual performance. Representations that are also harmful, of course, for the feminine, deprived of its power or over-adapted to male codes - A must read: the excellent Myth of Virility by Olivia Gazale.

So, me and my Facebook friends, what happened?

We are undeniably active players on the economic, political and social scene

With us, the feminine is clearly assumed, intellectually, mentally.

But is it emotionally, carnally, spiritually, fully? What is, today and in reality, the true place of the feminine in our alignment? How can we make sure that the feminine fully takes its place, finally?

To be continued.... in the next article 

Nadalette La Fonta

Illustration " Avoir les boules " by Sophie Giret https://www.instagram.com/sophiegiret

 Thank you for this wonderful and generous collaboration, Sophie

Share if this article makes you react 🙂