Listen, listen, my daughter, who I am - The voice of verticality
Listen, my daughter, listen to who I am: I am WOMAN.
- Listen to my daughter:
- I am this unloved child
- I'm that inhibited teenager
- I am this crazy youth
- I am an Amazon, a warrior,
- I am the lover and the Lover
- I am fragile, sad, alone,
- I'm under the influence,
- I am angry
I am the fruit of my contradictions.
I am neither an example nor an icon. Before you - like you, perhaps - I devoured the world. Perfect woman, I forgot my dreams.
Motherhood was an unexpected revelation. I didn't dream of being a mother, and then you came along, my wonder!
For you, through you, my daughter, I became loving. A devoted mother, defending a nest where you are protected, from everything, from everyone, from me! I controlled my strength, corseted my universe, stifled my desires, so that no reality would taint your cocoon of tenderness. So that you live in the palace of illusions as long as possible, so that you don't miss anything, so that no nightmare disturbs your childish sleep.
I never told you who I am, I've been hiding for years. Nothing was to bother you.
You started to dance, and I enjoyed it.
Finally left the nest, and I congratulate you. Whatever my pain was.
2014, you and your sisters turned 20, I had no reason to pretend anymore!
Let me tell you, my beauty!
I was exhausted. Twisted physically and morally, under the 1000 professional and personal constraints. Enslaved in roles that no longer suited me. Absent from my essence.
The dissociation between the life I was leading, and the one I know is mine, became intolerable, inextricable. And my body gave out for me to meet ME.
An operating accident.
I woke up paralyzed, paraplegic, in a wheelchair. Lying down, bedridden, altered, appalled, grounded, immobile, dependent. No more Wonderwoman, no more mother, no more NOTHING. No more STANDING.
A broken woman, lying down! Pierced with 2 titanium rods.
9 months, long hours of solitude in a hospital, locked up by my body, where I took the time to listen to my voice, the one I was muzzling. My voice that expresses itself, through me, clearly today.
What happened to me was not the end of the world. Just the end of a world, of a frightened and unbridled submission to the desires of others, which had had its day for me.
It was time to open another path, a passage, to cross a threshold: the threshold of my Life! Maybe yours: A shock of any kind, a deep questioning and absolute self-confidence.
Yes, I learned to walk again. Like a rebirth.
Little by little, slowly, I was straightened up. I straightened up, revertical.
To be STANDING, we had to grope, grow, bend, fall and get up again.
Vulnerable, asking for support, thirsting for love!
Formidable metaphor of the life, for a setting to the world, long, and with the forceps.
Because I brought you into the world, I was able to bring myself into the world
In a world, certainly, dilapidated, torn, violent and iniquitous. But a MAGNIFICENT world!
Where there is neither failure nor success, neither regret nor remorse.
I forgive myself my wanderings. Which are, in fact, those of every being on the way to himself.
Liberated, I free you, my daughter, my daughters, my lineage, from all imprints. I leave you love as my only heritage.
I meet my power. In 2014, I was wounded, diminished, augmented too. TRANSFORMED.
The day I gave myself love, respect, tenderness, light, with splendor and accuracy, my desire to live, my creativity, my legitimacy, my femininity appeared.
Everything became possible, the whole field of my possibilities.
I am straight, In an infinite vertical, embodied, aligned. And yet, with reduced autonomy in physical space.
I take my place fully. In a liberated horizontality. And yet, handicapped.
By the body, this body, otherwise, and now mine, limited, and in pain, but STAND UP !
To which the spirit joined, delighted with this reunion, so that I became a writer, with an authentic and free word. And with an open and connected heart. Finally benevolent, and enraged.
To set myself up. With my words as my only weapons : Passing words
So I say to you, this world in peril requires that our voices rise, that your voices rise
From now on I rise, I rise, I look far and high. Public woman. In the world.
Woman Flame which diffuses. I'm running away.
So here I am, telling you, my daughter: strong of my paradoxes, vulnerable and invincible, motionless and moving, anchored and floating, loving and loved, and in the deep happiness of being TOGETHER, I am in the lineage of powerful women, who work with accuracy, and are giving birth to the world, enchanting life.
I am who I am. I am a woman, I am a mother, a citizen and a committed person. I stand up and walk with you. STAND UP together!
Nadalette La Fonta - DeboutCitoyennes - Eklore - Zenith - The voice of verticality - March 8, 2020